Day #4 of Learn with Me
Do you like haunted houses?
I kind of DO NOT. Here’s why…
Years and years ago, I remember this one time showing up and feeling the excitement and surge of adrenaline in anticipation for what was to be. I was also a bit anxious at the unknown. As I entered the house and began to ‘take in’ the sights, the sounds, the experiences….the MOST interesting thing happened!! Within the entire process of entering in to the moment of exiting from ….. it REALLY was quite different. Something had changed, shifted, and upon exiting, I was not the same as when I entered.
THAT, my friend, is what we call transformation.
Transformation means change…it’s the metamorphosis of YOU.
On this day #4 of Learn with Me, I am sharing how I learned to SURRENDER to the very act of becoming.
I remember vividly signing the contract to work with the self-publisher to write and publish the book. I remember in detail how I felt sitting down to gather thoughts, feelings, details from the experiences and begin to assimilate onto the white space.
I talked yesterday how I had to allow the creation of my story to become on that paper in the artly way it was needed for me and for others who would read my story. Do you remember? Feel free to read it again, here… (Day #3 of Learn with Me)
Transformation is another process of creation, only with a bit less control of what comes after. Learning to SURRENDER to what is gives authority to SURRENDERING to what will come.
I was NOT the same me when I first began owning my story and writing it on paper as I was when I completed the book writing. Many might say I was different. I stand in my understanding that I was actually (and still am) more of the real authentic me. You know, the one that was so desperately wanting to come free from the chains of limiting beliefs and unworthiness.
Much like an alcoholic is addicted to the buzz of liquor, I was addicted to my ‘not enough’ syndrome. I soaked it up until it pretty much numbed me to abuse and isolation masked with the vibrancy of perfectionism. A match made in the comfort of the uncomfortable. It was a toxic high! You would have to be around me for quite some time before you could possible see the small and tiny insecurities. I was so good at the game of hiding!
When the story was unfolding and I was feeling those itty bitty releases, I wigged out and shut the process down many times. SURRENDER was the lesson! I was learning to let go and be willing to leap into the unknown and see what happens.
“Take charge. I cannot see the way.” -Unknown
We do NOT surrender alone. We surrender with…
There is no isolation or separation in the process of surrender. It is a collaboration of sources. YOU, a frequency larger than life and prayer. Prayer is the link that connects you to that larger than life frequency.
For me, I prayed to God every day, and every time I sat in front of the white space and began to fill it up with words, and experiences, and knowledge and my story.
Anne Lamont talks about a format by which you pray by request help, proclaim gratitude, and ask for desires. It can be this simple!
Sometimes my prayers were longer and took on a mission and a vision. One such favorite is from A Course in Miracles,
“I am here only to be truly helpful. I am here to represent Him Who sent me. I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He WHO sent me will direct me. I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me. I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.”
This prayer gave me comfort as I entered each moment of writing the uncharted. I had no way of knowing what would end up on the page, so trust became a walking partner. My daily ritual was grab my laptop, my coffee (always coffee), pray, surrender, trust, write.
And in those moments when I needed a break from the writing (it got intense at times), my daily ritual was grab my coffee, grab a spot of stillness, pray, surrender, trust and allow.
There really is no other way to live consciously. Surrender led me to a conscious lifestyle.
And when writing would stall, or actually when I would notice my life in a stall pattern (like a record player on constant play in one direction), surrender is my VERY best friend. I get still and ask,
“What are you resisting? What are you NOT surrendering?”
There is huge revelation in the quiet moments of curiosity. It is where you find your freedom, your joy, and your conscious lifestyle. It is where you come home to you and to the love you had forgotten.
Transformation is the presence of remembering. Healing is the transformation of remembering. Writing my story, Coming Home: A Love Story, was a transformational healing process.
AND that is why I do what I do with my clients. I want to be for YOU the mentor I wish I had along the way. When I work with clients or share my story with large groups at a speaking event, I am helping you by holding the sacred space for you to enter the presence of remembering who you are! Knowing thyself is the mega big purpose of a conscious lifestyle. I want YOU to remember who you are and how truly amazing you are and help you live by dreaming big!
It took surrendering to my story, for me to remember who I was! No more unworthiness or ‘not good enough’ syndrome. No more addicted to toxicity.
Surrender. Transform. Heal. Come Home to YOU!!!
Freedom, Joy and a Conscious Lifestyle are yours!!!
What do you want?