Do you have monkeys on your back?
I’m talking about the wild monkeys that you see in the movie, Wizard of Oz. I sometimes feel like life gives me these crazy wild moments of immense mystery. At times it feels like a huge heavy burden and other times more like a light fly through the air.
Have you seen the wild monkeys from the Land of Oz? They are wickedly playful. They are strong and powerful. They follow the divine orders from a magic entity and are known to come from an unknown source. They are neither good nor bad.
I was watching Wizard of Oz the other day and it got me thinking…..
The yellow brick road.
We all want our life to be the yellow brick road. We want to be on a path toward something special, purposeful, and meaningful. We want the journey to lead us to a final spot. We want the ruby slippers in our closets to grab in a moment of need. We want those magical gems on our feet as a guiding force to reach THE destination.
And….then….along the way on the yellow brick road….the wild monkeys come into our path.
The monkeys? They are moments that take our breath away, moments that scare us, moments that call us to question being on the journey, and moments that can force us to another place.
Are the monkeys all bad? NO!
“Everything you are seeking is seeking you in return. Therefore, everything you want is already yours. It is simply a matter of being more aware of what you already possess.” -Unknown
The yellow brick road. What is yours?
You have it ALREADY! Take a look around. Open your eyes.
It is a conscious choice EVERY day to see that you already have what you want.
I have 4 kids and they are perfect in EVERY way!! They have gotten kicked off the bus for not so good choices, they have been suspended, they have gotten Ds and Fs on report cards, and they have had detentions. Cops have called our house and other parents have emailed or called about the bad choices of my lovelies. They have messy rooms that stink and are simply disgusting! They very seldom pick up after themselves…..I am seriously talking about wrappers, empty plates, empty cups and dirty socks and shoes ALL over the house.
Get the picture of MY yellow brick road?
Here’s another version…..
I have 4 kids and they are perfect in EVERY way!! They are willing to give of themselves to help another in need. It maybe giving money for a charity drive at school, it may be helping a group of kids learn to play baseball, or it may be helping an older gentlemen move furniture. They are independent and literally could run the household if I let them (and I let them often….). They are funny and humorous. They laugh and have fun in pretty much every thing they do. They have a voice and use it often to speak ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings.
Get the picture of MY yellow brick road?
There was a time when I focused on the first version because of the monkeys on my back. I felt the pressure for my life as a mom and a parent to look the way society said was the best, the smartest, and the most successful. There was a time when I felt the monkeys flying around and laughing at me when the kids made mistakes and that uncomfortable feeling shamed me into believing THEY needed to change. There was a time when I scolded them because I felt embarrassed by the mistakes and judged for our imperfections.
Are the monkeys all bad? NO!
What IS my yellow brick road?
Perfect kids….. perfectly human in EVERY way!! And I am so grateful every moment. Every moment I laugh with them. Every moment I hug them. Every moment I yell at them. Every moment they make me scream in frustration. Every moment I look and see AWESOMENESS. Every. Single. Moment.
Raising kids who are wholeheartedly human is MY yellow brick road. And every day in the midst of the wild monkeys (the fears, the failures, the bad choices, the embarrassing moments, the storms), I CHOOSE to stay on the yellow brick road.
“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.” -Ram Dass
What is YOUR yellow brick road?
Take a look around. Open your heart and listen to them. Open your eyes and watch them.
Each moment brings about a feeling or emotion. Feel it. Pull that feeling toward your heart and let it be.
I can remember when the call came from the assistant principal telling me the kid was getting suspended for a day. Tears came to my eyes and my stomach began to bounce around like Tigger does in the Winnie the Pooh movies. My hands became jittery. I wanted to scream (and sometimes I did). I let myself feel it all – I screamed, I grabbed my stomach and held it as the rumbling continued. And I cried.
So often, our human brains want to take fight or flight when life gets stormy and we want to cover up the uncomfortable. In these “wild monkey” moments we want to run away and hide from our feelings and emotions. Put on our masks of perfection and live the façade of ALL. IS. PERFECT.
DON”T!! DON”T!! DON’T!!
Take 60 seconds and lean in. If we live, breathe, and experience the “wild monkey” moments they will go away faster and not continue to cycle into our lives. Lean in.
Fear is the heartbeat of the ego and often channels us, as parents and leaders of our families, to shame, blame and guilt our kids into doing the ‘right’ thing. What is the ‘right’ thing? Cut the strings of puppetry. Unleash the rope that is tying you and your child up in a frenzy. LET GO!!!
Fear is what sets control in motion. We, as parents, think in our heads that we have ALL the answers. I did it too.
I told them how to act, what to say, what to do AND it flopped EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Because…….I am not them AND they are not me. Each kid has a heartbeat and must listen to that heartbeat as a guiding force.
Letting go is more about trusting the essence of your kid, your divine life and a much higher power to keep you on the yellow brick road.
Let go and watch how they grow, make decisions, handle mistakes and failures, manage time, and take care of themselves.
Let go. Really look at them. Really see who they are.
“You’ve always had the power my dear. You just had to find out for yourself.” -Good Witch in Wizard of Oz
I know I make it sound so easy. No….it is not always easy. It is always worth it to witness the incredible opportunity in each little segment of the kids’ life. It is always worth it to share in the joy when they say to me, “I’ve got this mom. Trust me. I know what I am doing.” It is always comforting to hear when a decision arises and the response is, “Mom, I know myself and this is not what I want to do.”
At the heart of it, the power of knowing who you are is your command center within your life journey. That goes for you and for your kid.
I DARE YOU – Find your yellow brick road. Know where you are headed. Take a look. Pay attention and become aware of the wild monkeys. When they come about, lean in. What are YOU feeling? Let go of fear and operate from a loving and all knowing space that life will work out always for good. And know, in your heart, YOU and YOUR KID have the power within to live life well.
UR Heartwork –
Take a moment and ask yourself – What scares you? What are you most afraid of? You might be surprised to figure out the exact thing that scares you most will show up because it is the very thing you think about often. Work on a new vision. What do you want?